the museum kid

(As told by Sarah)

This afternoon we went to the new Modernism show at the Corcoran. Hyper-major, as they say.

Simon was quite taken with many things in the exhibition, especially the films--excerpts from Charlie Chaplin's "Modern Times" for example. Wandering around in one of the galleries, he notes that the paintings and sculpture (all depicting gears and machines) resembled the gears in the film. Apparently the curators are doing their jobs, since he got at least one of their "take-home messages." (Modernists liked machines).

An older, well-dressed woman perusing the gallery at length with her friend, takes note of Simon and smiles, but only slightly.

We move into the next gallery. Simon notes the dates on the different chairs.

Simon: this chair is from 1928. This chair is from 1927.
Me: Which one is older?
Simon: this one. It's also the cooler one, because it's in a circle, and it's red.

Simon moves on to look at the dates on the other things in the room.

The well-dressed woman from the previous gallery comes up to me, looks over at Simon, asks how old he is.
I tell her, she nods her head very seriously and looks me right in the eyes.

"You are doing your work," she says.

it really makes very little sense

Simon has been obsessed with his digital watch for a few weeks now. His calculator obsession is newer, but quite potent. This weekend, he mixed the two, with this discovery:

"On my watch, 59+1=100. On my calculator, 59+41=100!!"

Think about it! It's actually quite clever, I think. And hard to explain.

But all that matters is the "W"

Simon and Jay are downstairs watching basketball.

Simon comes up every few minutes to tell me the score, but with a twist. Turns out he's down there with the new calculator, adding the scores together (not incidentally, this provided a solid half-hour of self-entertainment).

i.e., instead of saying: Xavier, 59; Ohio State 50, he runs up the stairs screaming:

"59+50=109!!!!!"

stating the obvious

(As told by Sarah)

Last night it snowed. (!)
we're all in Simon's bedroom saying goodnight.

Jay is looking out the window, trying, as always, to get Simon to laugh.

Jay: "I see a snowy car!"
Simon:
Jay: "I see a snowy elbow!"
Simon:
Jay [going for the cheap laugh]: "I see a snowy butt!"
Simon starts giggling hysterically and can't stop for like 5 minutes.

Me [rolling my eyes]: "why are butts so funny, anyway?"
Simon: "because they're stinky."

New Calculator

Simon has a new calculator.

He is in the back seat playing with it.

All of a sudden there is a squeal of glee.

"This is a scientific calculator!! That means I can still use it when I'm a paleontologist!"

Two hotels

(Location: a hotel room in Sands Point, N.Y.)

Simon visits Lewis & Judy's hotel room. He examines the clock radio.

Simon: In my hotel, I have a black clock.
Judy: Mine is white.
Simon: In your hotel, the clock is white.
Judy: We're in the same hotel, Simon, just different rooms.

Simon looks at Judy. There is a pause.

Simon: In my hotel, the clock is black.

No volcanoes

(Location: a hotel room in Sands Point, N.Y.)

David: Look at this sign, Simon. It says, "No smoking."
Simon:
David: So that means we can't smoke around here.
Simon:
Jay: I guess we can't have a volcano around here.
Simon: Ohhhh! No volcanoes!