Boxers vs. Briefs

Uncle David and I "hung out" with Simon tonight. After his bath I went to get his pj's and underwear but only found a pair of boxers and t-shirt set out for him.

Me: Simon, where is your underwear?

Simon: That's my underwear!

Me: These boxers?

Simon: Yes! I usually wear boxers, but sometimes I wear briefs. But usually I wear boxers.

Me (thinking to myself--since when to 5 year olds even know about boxers?): Okay.

Simon: I don't wear Gap boxers very often, most of my underwear is Oshkosh-bygosh!

No, you can't scare me

Simon, yesterday morning: So...why don't we have school today, again?

Me: It's Labor Day, it's a holiday. [I then launch into some soliloquy about workers and unions and it's all very inspirational but Simon doesn't appear to be paying any attention whatsoever].

a few minutes pass...

Simon: So, I get it, these are the same unions as the ones in that song about "I'm sticking to the union?" That's a song about Labor Day?

why is it called 'babysitting' anyway?

Me: Remember, Simon, Uncle David is babysitting on Wednesday when we go to back-to-school night.

Simon: No, people in your own family can't babysit you. He's just coming to hang out with me.