Simon's Stories

Backward and inside out

2011-06-02T11:08:00.000-07:00

Hard to impress

2010-10-03T07:49:00.000-07:00

[This post was written by Simon's uncle David]

When I loaded up the inventive Arcade Fire video to show my eight-year-old nephew, I wasn't sure what to expect. Aside from being a coming out party for HTML5 and a vehicle for Google Chrome (since it runs correctly only in that browser), the video is both innovative and the logical next step for music videos given the evolution of the social Web.

But is the video ground-breaking in the eyes of a third-grader who probably assumes all devices should have the ability to video chat and play Angry Bird? Not really.

It went something like this:

David: [clicks play]
Simon: Oh, I know this song.
David: Okay, but just watch.
Simon: It's just a guy running.
David: But look how he's standing outside your house. And when he spins around, the perspective of your whole block spins with him.
Simon: It's okay, I guess.

January sledding

2010-01-30T18:02:00.000-08:00

Simon laughs at Jay The Hack Master

2009-10-27T08:10:00.000-07:00

3G network

2009-09-07T10:47:00.001-07:00

The scene: We are playing games in the basement after dinner. Simon asks a question that neither Aunt Marnie nor Uncle David can answer.

David: I don't know, sorry.

Simon: Can you look it up on your iPhone?

David [feeling lazy]: I could. But I'm not getting any wifi down here in the basement.

Simon: But aren't you on the 3G network?

Simon the pianist

2009-07-28T11:51:00.000-07:00

Location: The dinner table. Uncle David is describing the scene at El Pinto, the 1,000-seat Albuquerque restaurant that has become a community institution.

David: Every politician who stops through New Mexico goes there. And every rock star and movie star. They have photos of the wall of every famous musician in the world hanging out there.

Simon: Was Beethoven there?

Following this conversation, Simon delivered a magnificent piano performance.

Tempting Teal is not dull and boring

2009-06-07T18:22:00.000-07:00

If Simon could paint his bedroom any color, it would be Tempting Teal, which, as he explains, is a "bright and lively" color made by Glidden.

I'll take four kinds of Parmesan cheese, please

2009-06-06T15:09:00.000-07:00

For his 7th birthday, Simon wanted a dinner party. There was pasta, homemade sauce, four kinds of Parmesan cheese and Bébé Prosecco for the adults.

Nanosecond vs. millisecond

2009-06-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

Location: The Silver Spring Regal Majestic 20. We arrived early and secured seats (Simon prefers the last row) and then realized we had to go back to the hallway to get a booster chair.

Simon: C'mon.
David: We've got time. We won't miss a second of the movie.
Simon: Okay.
David: Actually, we might not actually notice if we miss only one second.
Simon: Well, we could miss a nanosecond. But I don't want to miss a millisecond. Or a second.

Cherry Blossoms...and shapes

2009-04-06T16:55:00.000-07:00

Here, Simon explains the contents of his paper he's been carrying around during the Cherry Blossom viewing, it seems to be about topology, or shapes, or polyhedrons, or something of that nature.

Two TVs instead of one

2009-03-23T07:52:00.000-07:00

Recently, Uncle David asked Simon how he could improve his basement. To be fair, the question came after a long discussion about what TV program to watch.

A Gem of a story

2009-02-28T07:40:00.001-08:00

Simon is into gems at the moment. He's very interested in what gems are used in what ways (and very disappointed at the relatively gem-free nature of my jewelry collection. He's not even sure it should be called "jewelry," it being rather free of what we might call "jewels.").

This morning, he was reading a story about King Solomon's crown and cross-checking the mentioned gems in his gem encyclopedia, just to read up on their various properties.

He looked up at one point, quite perturbed.

Simon: "what words are capitalized?"
Me: "names, places, important things like that."
Simon: "Well. Not all important things."
Me: ?
Simon: "I think names of gems should be capitalized. Gems are very important."

Pre-reading

2009-02-23T12:48:00.000-08:00

Simon and I are reading Little House in the Big Woods together. The other night, he read a chapter to himself during his "flash[light] reading" time.

The next night, I set out to start reading the next chapter.

Simon: I read ahead last night to be sure that you would like it.

Me: oh?
Simon: Well, it was about guns, so I thought you wouldn't want to read it, but don't worry, it's not about war. Just hunting. Is hunting ok?

Me: Yes.

Simon: Ok, you can read it, then.

Musings on Olden Times

2009-02-17T11:42:00.001-08:00

We spent the weekend at "America's Historic Triangle" (Williamsburg-Jamestown-Yorktown, Virginia). Simon was quite taken with the experience. He kept asking if the items & buildings we were seeing were "old," "new," or "ancient re-polished." He is, for example, bringing an ancient re-polished newspaper to class today to show his teacher. Don't ask.

some of my favorite moments from the weekend:

There is a bridge at Colonial Williamsburg that connects the Visitor Center with the Historic Area. On said bridge there are metal plaques that take you through time as you walk. On the way back Simon ran forward in time across the bridge shouting with glee: "we're back! we're back to our own time! woo hoo! 2009 HERE WE COME!!!"
After walking through the village at Jamestown (where you get to see/walk through a Powhatan village, an English village, and climb onto the ships), we walked through the exhibition hall, where they have actual real things from the actual real 18th century (i.e. not new, but old). Simon approached every case (as if he'd never been to a museum!) with delight--"These are the REAL things! Not the re-polished things!"
In one of the houses in Jamestown, we sat on the beds, sat at the table, swept the floor, etc. Simon pronounced "This is a Green house! There is no electricity! brooms instead of vacuums! They just use the light coming in the windows! they were so smart then."
Simon likes salt on his foods--he likes to, for example, dip carrots in salt. You can imagine, then, his delight in learning that in olden times (i.e. in this case, in 18th century Yorktown) people salted their meat to keep it for the winter. They had vats of salt in which they displayed huge cuts of meat. Simon decided that we should take up this practice and start keeping salted meat in the freezer. "And maybe salted other things, too, just to keep them nice and fresh."
We went to a candlelight concert at the Governor's Palace at Colonial Williamsburg on Sunday night, it was beautiful, the concert was held in the parlor, with the beautiful chandeliers, the beautiful paint, the reproduction Chippendale chairs, etc. They played actual 18th century instruments by candlelight, it really was remarkable. To prepare Simon, we had told him on the way in that this was the fanciest home in 18th century Williamsburg, that the most important person in town lived there, that they had the most beautiful things, etc. On the way out, Simon mused that the building wasn't really all that fancy. "I thought they would have more gems and things around," he said. "Like, I thought there would be amythests in the wallpaper and maybe some more gold. And diamonds."

and then there was light

2009-01-28T12:04:00.000-08:00

This week, Simon had to do a project for school in which he had to construct a building. He got to choose the type of building and the materials.

He chose something he named the "eco center" because he'd been reading about "green" buildings in a magazine. His building has a green roof with a rain garden and a compost pile, a water barrel, and no air conditioning.

Simon: The building also has no electricity.

Me: Really? No lights, or anything?

Simon: No, it has lights.

Me: How are they powered? Don't they need electricity?

Simon: No, they don't need electricity. They use solar power.

The TI-83

2008-12-31T06:24:00.000-08:00

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN GREENBELT AND COLLEGE PARK — Simon loves his graphing calculator. Unfortunately, no one in the family knows how to use it.

That left Simon alone to read the thick instruction book and figure it out.

By dinner time, he was graphing circles!

Letter to a penpal

2008-11-11T15:33:00.000-08:00

In Simon's class, the kids were asked to write a letter to "Lilly," a character in a book they had read. Here is Simon's letter:

Dear Lilly,
I love math! I am in first grade. You can come to my house if you want. I have one computer. There are a lot of bookmarks on the computer. I live on S--- Road. I know a lot about math! Do you like math? Maybe some day you will.
From, Simon

Sasha Obama, age 7

2008-11-05T06:59:00.000-08:00

Me: [much excitement, crying, jumping, singing, carrying on, & etc.] ...so, all the Obamas will move here: Barack, Michelle, and the kids, Malia & Sasha, who is about your age.

Simon: Do you think she likes math?

Hedging Bets

2008-10-29T11:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday on the way home, Simon announced that his tooth was loose.

Me: How exciting! Do you know about the Tooth Fairy?
Simon: I don't think she's real. I think it's your parents who put the money under your pillow.

Me: Well, we'll have to wait and see!

Simon: I know. The first night, I'll put my tooth under my pillow and we'll wait to see if she comes. If she comes, great. If there's no treasure under my pillow the next morning, I'll put the tooth under my pillow again, and the second night, you and Daddy can put the treasure under my pillow.

Should I still read the book?

2008-10-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

I am reading an 800-page book. It's called The Mitfords and is a collection of letters sent between the 6 infamous sisters over many, many decades.

Simon loves 800-page books, just as a general rule.

Recently, he picked up my book and flipped through it.

He hands it back to me: "Just so you know, A few of the sisters die at the end, and the whole family falls apart."

Excited to talk about math

2008-10-26T16:21:00.001-07:00

Location:

The dinner table

Simon: May I be excused?
Sarah: Why don't you sit for another minute and talk with us.
Simon: Talk about what?
Sarah: Well, you could talk about your piano recital today. Or about Halloween.
Simon:
Sarah: Or Math.
Simon: Math!
Sarah: Okay, we can talk about math.
Simon: Yay!

On Bravery

2008-09-23T07:52:00.000-07:00

Last week Simon was very nervous about going to swimming lessons. He'd been fine the first time, but for some reason, was extremely apprehensive about going the second time. When I picked him up he claimed injury in several places (i.e. "I banged my shoulder earlier. I don't think we can go to swimming lessons."). When this failed as a tactic he grew silent. He did not want to get out of the car when we got to the rec center.

Me: Maybe you could pretend to be somebody really brave. Like a knight.

Simon: I don't want to be a knight.

Me: Or Spiderman.

Simon: Spiderman isn't real.

Me: Well, can you think of somebody real who is brave that you could be?

Simon: Who's that guy, where there were two teams, and one team was smaller than the other team but they won anyway?

Me:

Simon: From Sunday School.

Me: Judah Maccabee?

Simon: Him, yes. I want to be him.

This impersonation (which involved brandishing his towel as a shield from the presumed onslaught delivered by the kids (aka the Syrian army) leaving the rec center after the previous class), at least, got him in the door of the building and into the changing room.

Coming out of the changing room, he decided to just be Simon again, and proceeded into the pool.

The internets

2008-09-05T10:58:00.000-07:00

Simon and I heard a story about Google Chrome yesterday on NPR. At the end of the story, the reporter signed off from Google headquarters in Mountain View, California.

Me: Maybe we should start using Chrome on our computer.

Simon: Well, they said it was in California. Daddy has been to California, maybe we could send him back there, and he could pick it up for us.

That's a Wrap on Summer

2008-08-26T07:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had "Simon Day" at our house--it was the day before school started, and Simon got to pick everything we did. We spent most of the day at the Natural History Museum, with a stop at Baja Fresh and another at Home Depot to pick up some paint chips for his collection.

In the car on the way home from Home Depot, Simon inquired as to whether that was the last event of Simon Day.

Me: Well, I think so. Unless you want to have Closing Ceremonies.
Simon: We don't have 1.3 billion people in our family, so that's impossible.

more Olympic musings

2008-08-18T07:36:00.000-07:00

***
Simon reads in the paper that China has more gold medals, but the US has more total medals. He thinks this over.

Simon: Wouldn't it be cool if you could be Chinese-American?
Me: You can!
Simon: really???
Me: Well, *you* can't, but lots of people are Chinese-American, maybe they moved here from China, or their parents or ancestors did.
Simon [thinking...thinking...thinking..lightbulb turning on]: OH! So African-Americans have an ancestor from Africa?

***

We watched last week as a kayaker from Togo won the bronze, the first medal ever for Togo in the Olympic Games. Ever. Simon was very taken by this news. He's been bringing it up a lot. Last night we watched some rowing race in which Australia won a medal. Simon notes that Australia has already won many medals.

Simon: Wouldn't it be cool if Australia, just for the Olympics, was part of Togo, and then when they won that medal, Togo would have won their second medal!!

[pause]

Simon: But, I guess, winning your second medal wouldn't be as exciting as winning the first one, so maybe that wouldn't matter.

[pause]

Simon: But, Michael Phelps was really, really happy to win his second medal, so probably Togo would still like to win another one, too.

If you can't beat 'em...

2008-08-18T05:48:00.000-07:00

David and Simon are playing "Olympics."

David: Okay, which country are we now?
Simon: Let's be the United States.
David: Okay. Ready? On your mark...
Simon: Wait, no. Let's be China. They have a lot more gold medals.

Olympic dreaming

2008-08-13T06:33:00.000-07:00

Simon, while watching the Olympics:

"wow."
"can you do that?"
"I can bend forward but not backward like that."
"If it was in my world, everybody would get a medal."
"Why don't they play all 3 national anthems for the medal winners?"
"I think they're all doing really well."
"Why would anybody be sad to get a silver?"
"wow."
"nobody in this whole family could do that."
"I think the top 8 should get medals."
"Even Daddy can't do that."
"All I want is the underwater camera, turn back to the underwater camera."
"Michael Phelps rules."
"Are all the athletes either American or Chinese?"
"wow."

it's baaaaaaack!

2008-07-24T16:55:00.000-07:00

I'm in the kitchen, Simon's in the living room.

I can hear him humming but only faintly. The tune is familiar, but I can't quite place it. I walk into the living room so I can hear better...

...and there he is...

doing (and humming) the Macarena.

This is why they need a quarter!

2008-06-30T08:06:00.000-07:00

Simon and I were discussing the plan for the week. I went over how he wouldn't be going to camp this week, as we were having a vacation.

Simon: It's not really a vacation.
Me: Well, when you don't go to work, camp, or school, it's called a vacation.
Simon: No. A vacation is when you go to a different state.
Me: You're going to sleep over at Uncle David & Aunt Marnie's--that's in Washington DC!
Simon: Washington DC isn't a state.

If only!

2008-06-23T16:55:00.000-07:00

Jay & I are discussing the late George Carlin. I ask if Jay's seen the famous skit "7 things you can't say on television."

Simon: what are the 7 things?
Me: words you're not supposed to say; bad words.
Simon, in a stage whisper: oh! like stupid?
Me: sure.
Simon: in a softer whisper: and butt.

Time to make the candy...

2008-06-18T11:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Simon & I went to the mall to get him new shoes. Walking to the shoe store, we passed by several darkened food vendors. After passing the Orange Julius, dark & abandoned, its machines covered with a tarp, I was distressed, but upon reaching the dark & abandoned food court, I finally figured it out.
"A ha!" I exclaimed, "it's because of the water main break."

Simon: but the candy store was open, don't they need water to make candy?
Me: yes, but I guess all the candy was already made before the water main break.
Simon: I guess they knew there would be a water main break and that people would still need their candy, so they made extra last week.

Ginormous

2008-06-11T05:29:00.001-07:00

Simon is explaining his new board game, called "Mouse Trap."

Simon: ... and then it creates a ginormous vibration in this pole and then the trap falls on the mice.
David: Ginormous?
Simon: Ginormous. It might not be a real word.
David: Do your friends say it at school?
Simon: Mommy says it.

Probably

2008-06-11T05:24:00.000-07:00

David is reading to Simon from a book called, "The Boys' Book: How To Be The Best At Everything." There is a section about space travel and how there's a lot of free time in space, so astronauts can email their family and friends.

David: If you're in space, will you email me?
Simon: Yes...
David: [Starting to read the next paragraph]
Simon: ... Probably.

Jaded much?

2008-06-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

Simon, 6, and I are talking this morning about the schedule for the day.

Me: "...and then I'm going to come to the authors' reception at your school, and you'll read me your book that you wrote!"

Simon: "and you'll say 'that's so great!' and 'I'm so proud of you!' and stuff like that and then we'll go home.

Questions at the ball game

2008-05-12T06:08:00.000-07:00

--[when walking to our seats past all the tempting vendors] Can I have a hot dog, french fries, pizza, AND ice cream?

--[when walking up and up and up to the very top of the stadium] We are so lucky because we get to sit all the way on top. Why are all those people sitting way down there?

--[when looking down at the field from our extremely high seats] Those people look like toys. Look! A toy flag! Why do we have to stand up [to sing the National Anthem] when it's only a toy flag?

--[after watching the Assistant [to the] Regional Manager of Harris Teeter throw out the first pitch] Why didn't anybody bat?

--[When Jay brought back only one bottle of water] But we each have our own cup holder! We need three waters!

--[When the announcer said the [people dressed up as long-dead] Presidents were going to run around the baseball field] When you talk about Obama and everybody running for President...you don't mean that kind of running...do you? Is Obama going to run around the field or is he going to add up the votes?

--Why isn't anybody here rooting for the Marlins?

--Do birds fly higher than the stadium?

My Marnie

2008-05-05T16:17:00.001-07:00

We got something new for the wall above the couch in the living room. We think it's the most beautiful and most obvious thing and we comment on it almost every time we walk into the house. However, we had guests the other night, and they didn't notice. Jay and I are discussing it. How could they not notice?

Jay: Well, maybe it's not that noticeable. Maybe most people who come over won't notice.

Me, begging to differ and, in my haste to disagree, forgetting for a minute that Marnie changed her name: Marnie R----- will notice within 3.5 seconds of walking into the house.

Simon: Whose Marnie is that? Is that my Marnie?

Bapa's invisible friends

2008-04-25T17:20:00.000-07:00

Last week, my dad and my brother told us a story about an Indian restaurant they went to in Quito, Ecuador where the servings were extremely cheap and extremely large. Perusing the menu, they thought the low prices must mean they were at one of those tapas-type restaurants with the small plates, and ordered accordingly, several per person. Instead, it turned out that it was just a cheap restaurant with generous servings. The serving plates didn't even fit on the table!

Simon, apparently, has been mulling this over for a week.

Tonight, he said, appropos of absolutely nothing:

"Remember that time when Bapa & Uncle David ordered too much food at the Indian restaurant and the waiter laughed at them? What they should have done is, when they got to the restaurant, they should have just told the waiter that they were a party of 6. That way, he would have seated them at a larger table where the dishes would fit."

They still would have to eat all the food, though...

The voice

2008-04-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

Simon was visiting Marnie & David one day and noticed that their security system says "front door" when the front door is opened.

He thought about it for a minute and said to David, "You actually have three people living here: you, Marnie and the voice."

Musing about Olden Times (again)

2008-04-08T10:04:00.001-07:00

This morning we got our first delivery (!!) from South Mountain Creamery (dairy & meat from a local farm). The milk came in a glass bottle, delivered to us in our new metal box that says "South Mountain Creamery" and shows a horse & buggy delivering milk in olden times.

On the way to the bus stop this morning, Simon & I discussed how people used to get their milk delivered all the time, and how some people had a milk box outside their door, and others had a "milk door" actually built into their house.

Simon: "That's because they didn't have grocery stores. Well, they had them, but they were made out of wood. And they were smaller than ours are because they didn't have as much land then. It was taken up by all the farms."

Doesn't quite have the same ring to it

2008-04-04T17:14:00.000-07:00

So we're at Austin Grill for dinner (so what else is new). Jay finishes his meal and pronounces:

"We have eaten like Kings!"

(which is a dubious proposition but we'll let that lie).

Simon: "Well, we don't have kings in this country. So really you mean we ate like Presidents."

He's for change, too.

2008-04-02T17:11:00.001-07:00

On the way to the car after school, Simon spots an Obama '08 bumper sticker on the car next to ours:

"Hey! They're voting for Obama, just like us. He's for change. Just like Abraham Lincoln. He was for change, too. And George Washington. Well, George Washington wasn't for change, he was just for inventing the country. The Indians were already here but George Washington had to build all the buildings."

Living in a Post-Hubble world

2008-03-31T07:21:00.000-07:00

In Winston-Salem last week, Paul set up his telescope so Simon could (for the first time) see the stars & planets in the sky, instead of in his (increasingly large) collection of books and encyclopedias about outer space, which feature the latest and most magnificent photos from the Hubble Space Telescope.

Paul worked hard for a long time to get the telescope set up and pointed in the right direction. You could see Saturn, with its articulated rings!

Simon looks through the telescope and looks back up, kind of confused. "But why isn't it in color?"

He did, however, spend the rest of the week making sure I understood (since I wasn't there) that he saw the real Saturn in the real sky. And the real Mars. And the real Orion Nebula.

How very 21st Century

2008-03-31T07:18:00.000-07:00

We're at the Pee Dee Town Creek Indian Mounds historic site somewhere in the piedmont of North Carolina.

There is a recreated Pee Dee village (one of the Mississippian tribes) which includes a palisades and several structures, including one we are told is a ceremonial building. Simon decrees that we should pretend we are visiting Pee Dees from another town and we are here for a special ceremony. We sit on the benches. He declares that Jay is the "Mayor-Rabbi" and must lead the ceremony. Jay stands up and begins to make an inspiring speech.

About halfway through, Simon raises his hand. "Excuse me, Mayor-Rabbi," he says, "I have to step out for a minute, I have a call on my cell and I have to take it."

what is "old"?

2008-03-18T07:14:00.001-07:00

We were at the Bonsai Museum the other day looking at trees. Each tree's label said how old the tree was. David & Marnie had promised a 17th century tree, so we were on the lookout. Simon saw many trees from the 1880s, the 1850s, the 1830s...still no 1600s trees. We keep looking.

Finally, we see it...a tree in the Japanese Pavilion from 1640 or so. Jay & I go on and on about old the tree is, this tree is so old, it was around before the United States was a country. This tree is so old, it's older than George Washington. This tree is so old....etc. Simon is looking at us skeptically.

"Well," he finally says. "it's not as old as a shark fossil."

Leaving the Majestic 20

2008-03-15T18:47:00.000-07:00

Moments after viewing the film "Horton Hears A Who," I asked Simon what he thought of the movie.

He thought for a moment.

"It's on my list of top 10 movies of all time," he answered.

if only...

2008-03-06T16:43:00.000-08:00

Simon got a little papercut today, no big deal but he got a bandaid anyway.

Getting into the bath, he took off the bandaid (since it would get wet) and looked carefully at his thumb where the cut used to be.

"I think the carrots I had for dinner worked! My cut is totally healed!"

Looking forward...

2008-03-03T11:15:00.000-08:00

Me: "what are you going to be when you grow up?"
Simon: "a meteorologist."
Me: "I thought you were going to be a paleontologist."
Simon: "well, they study olden times. Meteorologists study the future."

on being a 'real' author

2008-03-03T11:11:00.001-08:00

Simon & I made a book this weekend, it's about space and galaxies. Simon wanted it to look as real as possible (the cover is contact-paper-covered cardboard, and the pages are taped in there together).

On the cover, to show people that it was going to be a "real book" with "real pictures," he drew a special picture of a galaxy and wrote "National Geographic" on top ("because everybody knows how good their pictures are."). He asked me to help him color in the planets on the cover, making sure to remind me that "it's a National Geographic book so you have to use your best coloring."

On the title page, he started writing "by..." and then decided that he wouldn't write "Simon," he'd pick a pen name. "Because I want it to look like it's a real book so it has to have the name of a real author. Like David MacMillan." [who is that? I have no idea.]

I pointed out that since he would be writing the book, he was, in fact, the author.

"No," he said. "I'm not a book writer, I'm 5. Maybe when I grow up I will be a book writer. That's my choice, but I haven't chosen yet."

that's one way to put it...

2008-03-03T10:56:00.000-08:00

Simon learned about the story of Purim in Sunday School this week. In the story, Haman plots to kill the Jews. When his evil scheme is discovered, he is hanged on the same gallows that he had prepared. (Or at least that's how I heard it).

I was curious to know how the teacher dealt with this story with her class of impressionable kindergartners. Simon recounted the story to me. He noted that at the end of the story, Queen Esther and King Ahashuarus lived happily ever after. I asked what happened to Haman.

"Well," he said, "he pretty much went out of business."

[still not sure what exactly the teacher said...but this was his interpretation.]

Questions of the weekend...

2008-03-03T10:53:00.001-08:00

[when making a list of colors:] "is white a color?"

[when organizing his bookshelves into 'fiction' and 'nonfiction':] "is the Bible fiction?"

[when discussing his uncle & grandfather's recent trip to the equatorially-located Ecuador:] "is there really a dotted line on the actual earth where the equator is?"

We'll see

2008-02-24T08:04:00.000-08:00

David: Is this a wise activity?
Sarah: We'll see.

The word has lost all meaning

2008-02-24T07:33:00.000-08:00

Simon has been listening a lot lately to ERD's collection of the best music of 2007, which includes a song by the Pierces called "Boring." In the tune, the sisters are bored with their active jet-setting life.

Saturday night, we look alright, we're going out... boring.
Paris, France, Londontown; NYC... boring.
Galliano, Donatella, Dolce & Gabbana... boring.
Caviar, escargot, Dom Perignon... boring.

With that in mind, Simon was having lunch last weekend at the Air & Space Museum. He looked down at the spread of food in front of him and said with a smile:

"Chicken nuggets, French fries, milk ... boring."

the coat boycott continues

2008-02-20T11:53:00.000-08:00

so Simon has spent most of the winter resisting wearing a coat. If he can get away with it, he'll wear his gray fuzzy sweatshirt from Aunt Mary Claire even if it's in the 30s. We finally reached a compromise position: he'll wear a coat outside but not in the car. Fair enough.

The other day I forgot to remind him to take off his coat before getting in the car, and there ensued a long production of him trying to get off the coat while strapped into his booster seat.

Me, from the front seat: You know, we'll be home in like 2 minutes, just leave it on!
Simon: no, I have to take it off. I can't wear a coat in the car.
Me: really? for 2 minutes?
Simon, shrugging his shoulders: That's just how I roll!

And no, he's not getting one

2008-02-20T07:29:00.000-08:00

Simon's latest plan is to get a computer in his room. Yesterday he had a whole discussion with Jay about how "convenient" it would be if he had a computer on his desk in his room. Then he could google and have bookmarks from his room and "not have to fill up mommy’s computer," etc. etc. So considerate!

Indecision '08

2008-02-11T17:23:00.000-08:00

I pick Simon up at aftercare today, and he's kind of grumpy. He can't decide whether or not to stay for snack (goldfish crackers). He kind of wants to and he kind of doesn't. I tell him to decide. He stands there, silent, unable to decide. He's driving me crazy. I insist we leave.

At home, several pieces of cheese and a cucumber-with-salt later, Simon and I are in the kitchen discussing the election. He asks if I've decided yet who I'm voting for. I say no.

"Well," says Simon, "I guess now you understand how I couldn't decide about the goldfish!"
"sometimes," says Simon, "it's kind of hard to make decisions."

Too true.

the lure of the airplane

2008-02-11T17:21:00.000-08:00

so Simon has been very into the Natural History Museum lately. On Saturday, we ended up having to walk to Natural History from the other end of the Mall. I suggested we walk through Air & Space for a change of venue. Simon demurred, saying he had no interest whatsoever and wanted to push through to Natural History. I insisted. He said fine, we'd just walk quickly through, and only because it was cold.

We enter the doors of Air & Space. Simon looks up. "Hm." he says. "Maybe we should just see what they have."

2 hours later, we walk through the front doors onto the Mall, on the way (still) to Natural History.

"Wow," says Simon. "we really got sucked in, didn't we!"

Simon's bookmarked sites, as of 1/15/08

2008-01-15T07:58:00.000-08:00

Cell biology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia - wikipedia.org - Yesterday
Category:Geometric algorithms - Wikipedia, the ... - wikipedia.org - Jan 12 -
Eastman - PAMAK fatty acids - Product List - eastman.com - Jan 10 -
Niacin - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia - wikipedia.org - Jan 10 -
Amino Acids - fu-berlin.de - Jan 10 -
Hydrofluoric acid - Wikipedia, the free encyclo... - wikipedia.org - Jan 9 -
Sodium hydroxide - Wikipedia, the free encyclop... - wikipedia.org - Jan 9 -
Sodium hypochlorite - Wikipedia, the free encyc... - wikipedia.org - Jan 9 -
Perchloric acid - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia - wikipedia.org - Jan 9 -
List of Proteins and Nucleic Acids - tus.ac.jp - Jan 9 -
List of acids and bases - emich.edu - Jan 9 -
List of fatty acid metabolism disorders - Wikip... - wikipedia.org - Jan 9 -
List of standard amino acids - Wikipedia, the f... - wikipedia.org - Jan 9 -
Sulfuric acid - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia - wikipedia.org - Jan 9 -
shape of your house - Google Search - google.com - Dec 20 -
Category:Polyhedron stubs - Wikipedia, the free... - wikipedia.org - Dec 17 -
Very big numbers - skynet.be - Dec 13 -
Convex uniform honeycomb - Wikipedia, the free ... - wikipedia.org - Dec 11 -
List of Crayola crayon colors - Wikipedia, the ... - wikipedia.org - Dec 11 -
List of elements by name - Wikipedia, the free ... - wikipedia.org - Dec 8 -

What's the boiling point for a 5-year old, anyway?

2008-01-07T07:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, on the National Mall.

Simon, planning to run around for awhile after seeing the dinosaurs, catapults down the steps of the Natural History Museum, whipping off his sweatshirt as he goes.

Me: "are you sure you don't want your sweatshirt?"
Simon: "Mommy! I'm so boiling hot I'm about to turn into a gas!!"

Not quite what Gilbert Stewart was going for

2007-12-16T10:28:00.000-08:00

so we're doing the kids' activity at the National Portrait Gallery yesterday. Simon has this booklet and he's answering questions about the full-length portrait of George Washington. The questions are like "what is he wearing" and "do you think he's an important person based on this portrait? how can you tell," etc.

On one page there's a list of words, the kids are asked to circle which ones they think apply to George Washington, based on the portrait. The words are like: happy, proud, successful, etc. There's about 25 words.

Simon walks up to the portrait, cocks his head, considers his answer. He comes back to the bench and circles the words he thinks best describe George Washington in this, a most majestic and impressive portrait of the Father of our Country:

OLD and TIRED.

the world wide web

2007-12-13T12:06:00.000-08:00

Me: So, I'm starting to think about where you're going to go to summer camp. Summer vacation is 10 weeks long, so you'll probably be at camp for most of that time, then we'll go to the beach. Then for a few days maybe you'll come to work with me.

Simon: I'd come to work with you?
Me: Yes.
Simon: [after a long pause, as he considers this possibility] Do they have Google at your work?
Me: Yes.
Simon: Ok, then.

Simon's reaction to something interesting happening

2007-12-07T18:44:00.000-08:00

Photo credit: dl004d

He turned to Sarah and asked: "Are you going to blog that?"

This morning...

2007-12-07T08:36:00.000-08:00

Simon [after taking a sip of milk]: Milk has a tiny bit of sugar in it, that's what makes it white.
Me: Actually, milk comes straight from a cow, they don't add sugar to it.
Simon [reading the carton]: Actually, this milk has 6 grams of sugar in it.

just got this email...

2007-11-29T16:39:00.000-08:00

Hi Sarah and Jay!
I have been hearing great things about our former Shoe preschoolers. I haven't heard anything from our Simon though?Our new group of kids--they are great. but...none have impressed me like Simon. I'm not even talking about his intellectual ability...but his amazing heart.I'm trying to teach that to our current group. Sure Simon was impressive cognitively but it was his ability to see and feel things from another's perspective that amazed me.Please update me! Let me know how everything is, with you, Jay, and Simon! I am eager to know!
shamaurie

How would you have answered this question?

2007-11-29T12:48:00.000-08:00

Simon's homework assignment is to draw something that starts with the first letter of his name. He is at the kitchen table thinking about what to draw; Jay and I are in the living room.

All of a sudden he appears in the doorway:
"How do you draw a sacrifice?"

Sorry, George Lucas

2007-11-19T06:18:00.000-08:00

Playing with Uncle David & Aunt Marnie, Simon used small sticks as pretend water pipelines that ran to various toys in the basement. As he built the pipelines, he directed the placement of various toys to make sure they were getting adequate water. One of the toys at the end of a water pipeline was a minature R2D2 action figure.

Marnie: "Oh look, R2D2 is getting water."
Simon: "No, that is a water tank."
Marnie: "I think it's R2D2."
Simon: "No. Water tank."

Two of each?

2007-11-13T15:54:00.001-08:00

[preface: yesterday I told Simon I had a visit from baby Seger at work. Simon asked if his mom was there too, I said, well, yes, one of his moms was there. Seger has two moms. Simon accepted the information at face value.]

[other preface: Simon has been planning to marry Natalie ever since they started kindergarten.]

Me: who did you play with at recess today?
Simon: Emily [same answer he's given for the past few weeks]
Me: are you going to marry Emily now?
Simon: Well, I think I can marry both of them, and we can have two moms in our family. And two dads.

on a need to know basis

2007-11-13T15:53:00.000-08:00

Simon: I need to look something up on the computer.
Me: you NEED to?
Simon: yes.
Me: what would happen if you didn't look it up?
Simon: Well, then I wouldn't know it.

It's not only about literature..

2007-11-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

simon is wearing a shirt featuring a dog riding a skateboard.

Me: Do dogs really ride skateboards?
Simon: no.
Me: then why do you have a dog riding a skateboard on your shirt?
Simon: This is a fiction shirt.

Next up, Hopper

2007-11-07T17:22:00.000-08:00

Simon has drawn a grid of black lines on a piece of paper. He is coloring in the rectangles with different colors from his crayon box.

He shows me the page:

"This is like a Piet Mondrian except not with only red, blue, and yellow."

(turns out they're learning about Mondrian in art class...)

I've never heard of this shape.

2007-11-07T17:21:00.000-08:00

Simon hands me a oval/circlular shape he's cut out of an index card. He's drawn a smaller oval/circle in the middle of the shape.

He asks me to cut out the middle circle.

Me: Oh, so it'll look like a bagel!
Simon: No. So it'll look like an elliptical ring.

We've tried to explain about infinity...

2007-11-07T17:20:00.001-08:00

Simon is fascinated by really large numbers.
He's been typing things into Google, trying to get lists of large numbers. He started with:
very large numbers

and

extremely large numbers.

Today I came in to check on him and he'd typed into the Google search bar:

last number in the whole wide world.

Asked with a note of concern

2007-10-29T15:51:00.001-07:00

From the back seat the other day:

Mommy, when I marry Natalie, will you still be in my family?

It's kind of profound, no?

2007-10-29T15:49:00.000-07:00

So I'm making dinner the other night, Simon's on the computer, plugging things into Wikipedia (list of shapes, list of gems, etc.). I come in to check on him and he's opened google and typed:

What is in a vacuum?

Now, I know he meant the kind that cleans the floors...but isn't that kind of profound if you think about it? :)

his favorite part of this costume: the grommets

2007-10-28T17:08:00.000-07:00

Halloween 2007: the golden key

Sign O' The Times

2007-10-15T16:50:00.000-07:00

so we're dancing around this evening to some Bowling For Soup, specifically the (awesome) song "1985." I'm singing the lyrics and Simon is on air guitar.
The chorus comes on:

...And there was Springsteen, Madonna,
way before Nirvana
there was U2 and Blondie
and music still on MTV...

and Simon goes "hey! it's not 'U2'--it's YouTube!"

seriously!? how does he even know about YouTube??

Good deal on tires

2007-10-06T17:26:00.000-07:00

Simon was looking through a newspaper add today for tires. He seemed interested in a deal for four tires for $596. Then he looked up and said, matter-of-factly: "I like 20-inch tires."

Boxers vs. Briefs

2007-09-05T19:38:00.000-07:00

Uncle David and I "hung out" with Simon tonight. After his bath I went to get his pj's and underwear but only found a pair of boxers and t-shirt set out for him.

Me: Simon, where is your underwear?

Simon: That's my underwear!

Me: These boxers?

Simon: Yes! I usually wear boxers, but sometimes I wear briefs. But usually I wear boxers.

Me (thinking to myself--since when to 5 year olds even know about boxers?): Okay.

Simon: I don't wear Gap boxers very often, most of my underwear is Oshkosh-bygosh!

No, you can't scare me

2007-09-04T11:59:00.000-07:00

Simon, yesterday morning: So...why don't we have school today, again?

Me: It's Labor Day, it's a holiday. [I then launch into some soliloquy about workers and unions and it's all very inspirational but Simon doesn't appear to be paying any attention whatsoever].

a few minutes pass...

Simon: So, I get it, these are the same unions as the ones in that song about "I'm sticking to the union?" That's a song about Labor Day?

why is it called 'babysitting' anyway?

2007-09-03T17:11:00.000-07:00

Me: Remember, Simon, Uncle David is babysitting on Wednesday when we go to back-to-school night.

Simon: No, people in your own family can't babysit you. He's just coming to hang out with me.

The elementary school rumor mill

2007-08-29T15:44:00.000-07:00

Simon: So, you know what I heard today?
Me: what?
Simon: There's a kid, he's not in my class, but he's in Ms. Gorta's class, and he can count all the way to infinity.

And so it begins...

2007-08-27T16:06:00.000-07:00

Simon got his ID number today for the Montgomery County School District of which he is now a full-fledged member. Here he proudly displays his Kindercard on the way out the door of his first day of what will presumably be a 13-year relationship with said public school system.

He had a very good day--let's hope this bodes well!

it's not easy going Green

2007-08-20T09:27:00.000-07:00

We're in the car this morning, Jay & Simon are dropping me off at the Metro on the way to dropping Simon off at preschool.

Me: We're only going to do this 3 more times after this! After that it's all walking for me.
Simon: And we'll walk to the bus stop!
Me: Yup. We'll all be walking. That's good for us.
Simon: Yes, it's good exercise.

[extremely long pause.]

Simon [in a slightly worried voice]: But we'll still have the car, right?

couldn't have said it better myself

2007-08-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, when I picked Simon up at preschool, his teachers were talking about how much they're going to miss him. When we stepped into the hallway, Simon whispered into my ear conspiratorily:
"Even when I go to kindergarten, I'm still never going to forget this school."

Well, I am from Wisconsin...

2007-08-15T11:32:00.000-07:00

We read this morning about the cheese carving contest at the Montgomery County Fair. The newspaper says that the entries will be located in the Butter House (on the fairgrounds) for visitors to check out.

Simon: Well, we don't need to go see that, we have plenty of butter and cheese right here at our house!

Duh, I should have guessed

2007-08-10T20:22:00.000-07:00

REHOBOTH BEACH, Del. — We stopped for dessert after dinner on our last night in Delaware, and Simon chose a scoop of "rainbow ice-cream." It was red, yellow, blue and green. (Unfortunately, this meal went undocumented — the above picture is from a different ice-cream outing on the vacation.)

Uncle David: "Ooooh, Rainbow ice-cream. That looks neat. What does it taste like?"
Simon: "Basically, it tastes like rainbows."

olden times

2007-08-02T04:45:00.000-07:00

Simon [holding a plastic bag]: Do I throw this away or recycle?
Me: throw it away.
Me [marveling]: Did you know that we never asked that question when we were your age? There was no such thing as recycling.

Simon: was there garbage?
Me: Yes.
Simon: was there newspapers?
Me: Yes.
Simon: Was there school?
Me: Yes.
Simon: Ok. So there was everything in the world except recycling.

I don't use letters

2007-07-26T08:02:00.000-07:00

Simon is taking a bath. Uncle David, overseeing this activity, looks for the floating letters and other bath toys typically lying around.

Uncle David: Let's spell something. Where are your floating letters?
Simon: I don't use letters. Now I conduct scientific experiments.
Uncle David: Okay, let's do some experiments.

Simon proceeds to pour various amounts of water into a little plastic cup, examining the levels and then pouring out the water. When he covers the cup with a towel, the water doesn't spill when he turns it upside down. He was very pleased with the results of his experiments.

Just a kitchen

2007-07-26T07:53:00.000-07:00

As part of his bedtime ritual, Simon walks around the house and says goodnight to each room. Last night, though, he was in a rush to get to his bedroom to have his uncle read more from his new "Encyclopedia Brown" books, and he decided to skip the kitchen.

Uncle David: Hey, you skipped the kitchen.
Simon: The kitchen doesn't need me to say goodnight to it.
Uncle David: Why not?
Simon: Well, it's just a kitchen.

America the beautiful

2007-07-15T08:25:00.000-07:00

As told by Sarah to Aunt Marnie.

Location: In a car, driving through mountains somewhere between Portland, Ore., and Pocatello, Idaho.

Simon, looking out the car window: "I see purple mountain majesties!"

You're welcome!

2007-07-14T20:43:00.000-07:00

(As told by Aunt/"Uncle" Marnie.)

Simon sent David & I a thank-you card the other day, pictured above.

(Aided by Simon's sense of humor regarding words that rhyme and misplaced proper nouns, we often send him postcards signed by Uncle Sharktooth & Aunt Fishscale or Uncle Pirate & Aunt Pegleg, depending on the theme of our travels.)

Clearly, he has learned how to participate in this game.

Later, I mentioned the card to Sarah, who reported that Simon declared that he was going to do "something tricky" on the card and proceeded to laugh for 10 minutes.

lipids

2007-06-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

Simon is reading Science magazine over breakfast. He comes to a graphic showing something relating to nerve endings and lipids. Jay explains that this is explaining something going on in the body.

Simon: "so there are lipids under our skin?"
Jay: "yes"
Simon: "Bapa said there was sugar and water and blood. I guess he doesn't know about lipids."
Jay:
Simon: "we should call and tell him."
Me: "well we can't call him now, he's in London."
Simon: "aren't there phones in London?"

on communication

2007-06-12T17:04:00.000-07:00

two from today:

1. Simon, this morning, appropos of nothing (as far as I could tell). "In olden times, like in 1920, they had letters but they didn't have exclamation points, commas, or periods. You had to guess when the sentence ended."

2. As we pulled up in front of the house we watched a storm coming in. We could see the dark grey clouds, we even saw some flashes of lightening. Then the wind picked up. Simon: "The sky can't talk so it uses the wind as a message."

Refense!

2007-06-11T09:22:00.000-07:00

Location: The basement. We are playing a soccer-like game involving a giant inflated ball.

David: Okay, I'm on offense now.
Simon: Then I'm on onfense.

Later, Simon has the ball and is headed toward my goal.

David [chanting]: Defense! Defense!
Simon [as he kicks the ball]: Refense! Refense!

wouldn't it be nice

2007-06-08T05:28:00.000-07:00

It's evening. We're sitting in Simon's room. Simon (for some reason) is cutting apart the plastic ruler with photos of all the US Presidents on it he has received from Ruth for his birthday.

He has gotten as far as cutting off the edge that has the markings for inches. He is holding the remains of the ruler (with the oval-shaped President head images) in one hand and the scissors in the other hand.

He is poised to cut.

He looks up at me: "we're trying to get rid of George W. Bush, right?"

I nod in agreement.

"ok, then!" he says, and chops W. right out of the ruler. "done!"

the scientific impulse

2007-06-01T07:48:00.000-07:00

my thought of the day.

So, for the past few weeks Simon has been interested in underwater exploration. He has this book about a treasure-bearing ship (the Atocha) that sank and about the scientists/explorers who use signal magnetometers and sonar something-oters, etc. to find the treasure. He's been making signal magnetometers, etc. out of index cards and searching for underwater treasure in the house.

so it got me thinking this morning--it's just kind of funny, right? Instead of being particularly interested in dinosaurs, I mean, he liked them, but wasn't obsessed, he was fascinated by paleontology. He liked the tools: the picks, the brushes, etc. He always wanted to dig for fossils at museums that had that option, rather than look at the dinosaur dioramas. He stood and stared at the paleontology diorama at Natural History forever.

And instead of being particularly interested in pirates/pirate ships (again, he likes them, but isn't obsessed) he is absolutely taken with the tools that scientists use to find the treasure years later! He's reading all about these magnetometers and talking about them as if they're just the coolest things in the world.

ok it just struck me as kind of cool.

timeline of the world

2007-06-01T07:47:00.001-07:00

Simon, this morning at breakfast:

"So. Here's the thing about times. There's Ancient Times, which is like 1900 BC/BCE. Then there's like 1790 AD/CE which is Olden Times. Then there's 2000 AD/CE which is New Times, that's what we're in."

sum sum summertime

2007-05-31T06:01:00.000-07:00

Simon & I went to the pool yesterday after school/work. It was one of those days, bright blue sky, upper 80s. I sat on the edge of the pool and watched as Simon experimented with walking all the way to 3 feet ("which is 36 inches and I'm 43 inches so I'm taller than it"), walking through the mushroom-fountain-thingie (walking back to the towel every once in awhile to dry his face off) and jumping off the edge into the 1' section.

at one point he comes up to me, the biggest smile you've ever seen on his face and goes "it's a dream come true!!"

the mysteries of age

2007-05-21T12:51:00.000-07:00

Simon and I were talking about Jules & Stefan coming to the beach with us this summer. Most of the discussion was focused on how they can be 2 years older than him now (ie they're 6, he's 4), but when we get to the beach they'll only be 1 year older then him (ie they'll still be 6, he'll be 5). Complex math is demonstrated and processed using various calculating devices, calendars, etc.

Then he starts focusing on how they were born in the same year, and how they are twins.

We move on to discussing what year other people were born.

Simon: When was Uncle David born?
me: 1976.
Simon: when was Aunt Marnie born?
me: 1976.
Simon: [deep in thought] so they're twins, too!!!

Simon's To-Do list for this week

2007-05-13T17:20:00.000-07:00

So, it was bound to happen.

Simon found the Palm Pilot. It turns out we hadn't been in the basement lately, since Grandma left her old one there at Passover, which was a month ago. It's been nice out, so we've played outside, I guess. Anyway, he just noticed it.

Last night Caitlin (the babysitter) told us that Simon found the palm pilot and proceeded to draw his own palm pilot on a piece of paper, copying all the buttons carefully (this was to match his paper cell phones and his paper calculator that he carries around sometimes). So this morning he was down there again copying the buttons. I asked if he wanted to see how it worked.

So we spent a bit of time looking at it, figuring out how to use the stylus. He found the note pad, wrote a few notes, and, as was to be expected, found the calculator.

While in the back of the car on the way back from a dinner party just now, Simon found the "to-do list feature."

Last I saw, he had added the following things to the list:
1. fathers day thing
2. t ball
3. 5 days of play

As I said good night he said "we can share this palm pilot, right?"

Things the Docent didn't tell us...

2007-05-13T17:14:00.000-07:00

We went to a small museum yesterday--one of those ones where they elide 200 years of history to tell us what happened "back then." We saw school desks from yore, medical instruments from olden times, a car from early days, and a loom and spinning wheel from days of old.

The docent took us around and told us some interesting things about the old timey Quakers from Sandy Spring. It was actually a lovely installation.

When she had finished the tour, Simon wanted to go around again. He showed me a cash register from olden times. "See where that key is cracked?" he asked. "that's where they had a sword fight and somebody stabbed the cash register."

Then he led me to the kitchen area, where there was a large hearth. I showed him the "toaster"--which was attached to a long pole so you wouldn't have to get too close to the fire.

Simon: "there was a fire in there?"
me: Yes, that's where they cooked their food, so that whole area was a fire, like when we go camping.
Simon: well, they didn't have to stand so close in olden times. They had a large black screen they pulled in front of the fireplace like a window shade, so then the people wouldn't get burned. They didn't just have the fire out there in the middle of the room. That would be silly.